Word Association

“I guess this time you’re really leavin’
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well as my broken heart lies bleedin’
You say true love is SUICIDE”

I am doing the dishes, laundry, etc. Listening to 80’s music as I am a child of the 80’s- best music evah!

The Bon Jovi classic comes on and she pops into my head.

(I was looking in the mirror earlier and morbidly thought how one day my mirror looking days will be past, like the millions of people who have died before me.)

So I guess the word suicide stuck in my head. Memories of that awful day 12 years and 3 days ago in Concord, NH snuck into my head. I shed a few tears for Katie.

I wondered again, for the umpteenth time, “Maybe, if I had not kicked her out, she would still be alive and life would be totally different.”

The ones left behind, suicide hits them the hardest. Katie is dead. In another life, reincarnated, in heaven, in hell, nonexistent– choose a god you think is there and put Katie in that hereafter.

I don’t know. I don’t care. I simply wish she hadn’t put that cord of Christmas lights around her neck and jumped off the railing.

I want to know if…….

I’m sorry, Katie….

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