The armpit.

This is where I live. This is where 3 of my kids graduated from high school (Well, I’m anticipating the 3rd will this May, she has had straight A’s the previous 3 years of High School).

This is where we came after building a life and family for the first 20 years of my soon to be extinct marriage.

For the most part the kids had grown up in one house, a dead end street in a quiet New England neighborhood.

We had an inground pool, and lots of the kids friends over in the summer! The kids has good friends (still in touch and involved to this day) right across the street and could walk or bike to many others. We were very involved in church, school groups, little league, soccer, indoor soccer, AAU Baseball. We had a very good life.

Then this ⬆️ became more important to my soon to be ex-wife. This took precedence over everything and steadily got worse along with lies and then an affair. On January 28th, 2008 my STBX’s 30 year old sister hung herself with a string of Christmas lights.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/31372548/katie-carignan

That definitely changed my STBX, it was like this 30 year old party girl jumped from Katie into my STBX.

I find it very, very, very hard to muster a lot of sympathy for the woman considering that I know now she was very detrimental to the family unit I thought I had.

Suicide is the ultimate selfish act. A cop out that just exponentially multiplies the pain and misery that person had felt, it simply throws the pain onto those closest to the departed.

And so after a simple assault arrest (she attacked me with a cordless phone hit me in the head multiple times), one affair, a week long alcohol triggered hospital stay and a visit from DCYS (child services); I put the business and house up for sale. I have family here in the armpit. The thought was to get a fresh start, new friends, new support system, my family had agreed to help.

My house sold in 2 hrs., I took that as a sign…. SMH NOW.

So this happened:

We moved, south. Over 800 miles away to the promised land. I love thinking of the irony that we moved one county away from “the moonshine capital of the world” LMFAO.

The rest as they say is history.

She got worse. Two DWI’s. One shiny new boyfriend. 4 abandoned kids. One STBX husband wondering where the hell 25 years of his life went.

Hindsight is 20/20. I should have divorced her in 2005 after I found the first bottle. Alcoholism is truly a disease that spreads to the WHOLE family. But I’m content. I know I tried, fucking hard to help her get sober. I know now 16 months away from her toxic circus life that I didn’t put the kids first and I should have. ……………..

Reference the previous post from today, I retained a good lawyer, things seem to look very good, almost better than I imagined. So I’m feeling hopeful.

The whole reason I started this post was to describe the armpit a bit. The first picture shows the little town I live in. It also shows a little cafe where my STBX used to work until she got fired for— wait for it ………drinking. The cafe is also where she met her current boyfriend. The volunteer fire dept. that he is the chief of is directly behind the cafe. But what I want to mention ( this just popped into my head while walking my dog) is that the owner of the cafe is a perverted little Southern gentleman. He would bump up against my wife’s chest often and actually grab them sometimes. He bought a pistol off of one of the other waitresses and then offered to have her sleep with him to pay off the pistol. She is a heroin addict so I think it is ok to sexually intimidate and harass her. He is a church going, sweet tea sipping southern good ol’ boy. Lolol.

Yes, I truly hate this place and cannot wait till the day I see it in my rear view for the last time.

I’ll be back as my middle son is getting married in October and just bought a house here. But I will never live here again. It is a horribly hot and humid cauldron of racist busy bodies. It is literally the Dukes of Hazzard law enforcement. Our county actually had the sheriff arrested a few years before we moved here, apparently a US District Attorney landed in front of the Sheriffs Department in a helicopter. (Google it, it is amazing how little time these corrupt lawmen served).

Today I saw that my STBX’s 2nd DWI trial was continued for a 3rd time. I called the Commonwealth attorney’s office they told me she had put in a guilty plea and that sentencing was continued for a month. At which time she has to show that she is in an alcohol program. What??

Her first conviction she went back to jail for 3 days directly from the courtroom– First court date. Our state has a mandatory 20 days in jail for 2 DWI’s within 5 years. I have a gut feeling her volunteer fire chief boyfriend is pulling strings with the good ol’ boy network. Mark my words, she is going to kill someone someday when she is wasted behind the wheel.

Peace out, I’m going to be free soon.

I cannot wait to pull into my new house up north and start a new life with my beautiful & amazing, sober & sane girlfriend.

3 thoughts on “The armpit.

  1. People who aren’t directly impacted by alcoholism may not understand exactly how much it takes out of a person to maintain any sort of normalcy dancing around it, but I do…and wish I didn’t. I’m glad you and Sam have found happiness with each other and that soon enough you both will have peace from your ex’s.

  2. So bittersweet! You and Sam both deserve a great happy life after everything you have been through! Wishing you the best 🤗🤗🤗

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