Just amazed!

I feel like those people I hated seeing on Facebook in the past. When my marriage was falling apart I hated seeing happy couples. Now I is one.

Just so awesome. It has been a week since the surprise 50th party Sam threw for me.

Little things Like this jar of Hershey’s kisses with a sign that says “kiss your 40s goodbye”that she made for me, I love it!

It is 2:45 am. I’m thinking of her. She was sick today. I wish we were in the same city so I could be her “Nurse Nancy” on days like this. Soon.

I’m also playing PUBG (dropkickmattons if anyone wants to play squads) 😁. So neat, playing with a kid in Texas and guys in Ireland & Connecticut!

I am feeling awesome. I cleaned my porch tonight. Deep cleaned. Getting the house ready to sell. Lil by lil.

Getting rid of extra furniture. Etc.

Back to feeling awesome— it is weird. I have felt lonely in the recent past. Going from 4 kids in the house to one– sometimes– when she’s not with her friends —was a rough transition. But I really think it’s past. My daughter is in New Hampshire with my oldest son and my grandson. They were in Maine camping until today, no cell service, so I have not talked to her. She will be flying into Rockstars graduation party next Friday. (Note to self don’t forget to buy plane ticket.) But feeling awesome is strange. My finances are where I don’t worry about money, my kids all seem happy, life is good! Just so unusual not have to worry. She walked out March 30th 2017. It is July 7th 2018. I was with her for 25 years; 12 of them were hell. Hindsight is 20/20, but how I wish I had left when I found the 1st bottle in 2005 because it is incredible living in a relationship that is not toxic, not filled with lies, deceit and alcohol.

If you are in that situation. Rethink the “the kids need an intact family” thought process. My kids would have been infinitely better off if I had divorced her immediately, alcoholism is truly a disease that spreads to the whole family. Get out, now! You will look back and thank yourself once the dust settles. It has taken a little over a year and a fantastic woman in my life to get to a much better place. How long will it take you? I don’t know, but that clock does not start till you leave your toxic spouse.

Hakunah Matatah. 4:14 am. Bedtime. No chicken dinners tonight!

One thought on “Just amazed!

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